TV Channels

If I ran the kable kompany, I would sort content by subject and assign to channels accordingly. This is the channel lineup I would offer:

basic methodology

Start by recruiting an army of volunteers. The voluntary activity in question consists of watching television. An additional activity is content curation. This could be done mostly with simply push-button devices resembling the remote controls already in the hands of television viewers. One button would be for marking the boundaries between video montages, or “clips,” of interest, which is to say, the time at which one clip ends and the next begins. For this purpose one clip could be one commercial, or the stretch of actual programming between two commercials. Such an “intercommercial” stretch might or might not be further broken down into clips, for example, one for each “news story.”

Another classification task for first-pass viewing is categorizing by subject. The relationship between clips and subject tags is assumed to be many-to-many. A suggested list of subject category headings follows. A shorter list might be easier to work in a first pass viewing, perhaps buttons for “news,” “sports,” “comedy,” and one or two others.

channel list

able

Everything about disabilities and the people who have them, from inspiration porn, to ads for SSI attorneys, to ads for eyeglasses or hearing aids, to programming by and for disability activists.

ag

All things agriculture.

assent

Opposite of dissent. Mostly “person on the street” interviews in which a view is expressed to the effect of “thank goodness such thorough security measures are in place.”

astroturf

Any paid ad insertion that is basically astroturf. Also, any (probably rare) news report about the subject of astroturf. Also, any mention in TV content about astroturf in the sports sense.

atrocity

News reports or historical accounts of human rights atrocities, such as ethnic cleansing, torture, etc. Reports of war crimes trials go here, also cross-posted to lex.

barker

Advertising or other content in which an announcer (usually a voice-over announcer) has pronounced “carnival barker” type vocal stylings. These include talking very loudly and having exaggerated pitch modulation and inflection. Primary examples in the Detroit media market are ads for Gardner White furniture stores and Wallside Windows. This is generally more characteristic of local than national advertising (although it is the normal voice-over style in infomercials) and is inserted more in local TV news than any other genre of programming.

baseball

Baseball games and news and talk of baseball.

big3

News coverage concerning General Motors, Ford, and/or Fiat/Chrysler (cross posted to biz, and car unless about non-automotive divisions of said companies). Also, dealer advertisements featuring “employee pricing.”

biker

All things motorcycle related.

biz

Anything about activities in the for-profit sector.

car

Anything about cars.

cat

Any content in which cats are either mentioned or depicted.

cibus

Anything about food. Recipes go here, as do ads for food. Anything about dupermarkets cross posted here and in retail.

combatsport

Boxing, wrestling, martial arts, fencing. Also fight scenes cross-posted from fiction.

crime

Reports of crimes, including victimless crimes. Drug crimes cross-posted to gurd, burglaries and home invasions to home, crimes at or against places of business (as well as crimes for which there is a business model, basically organized crime) to biz, homicides to obit. Cross post to kid if the alleged perpetrator and/or victim is a kid. Police investigations and arrests go to both this channel and lex, while trials and pre-trial hearings in progress appear exclusively on lex.

cycle

Anything about bicycles, or riding bicycles for sport, recreation or transportation. Also other human-powered vehicles such

dfa

De facto advertising. Any item in a news broadcast that is basically promo content. “News” that a new store is opening or a new product is about to be released. The “there’s an app for that” type of “news story.”

dissent

Coverage of protest actions and expressions of dissenting opinions. News about dissidents in authoritarian countries (countries in general).

dog

Any content in which dogs are either mentioned or depicted. Includes the vast majority of ads for (non-veterinary) medications.

econ

Economics. If the subject matter is some economic phenomenon such as prices, wages, interest rates, supply, or demand. Content in biz channel cross-posted here if it concerns an industry’s economic outlook. Content in finance cross-posted here if it concerns economic phenomena such as interest rates or inflation. Anything to do with labor economics is cross-posted to hood.

edu

All things education. Anything pertaining to childhood education (K-12 education other than adult education) cross-posted to kid. Content that is explicitly educational (to the point of being pedantic) also goes here.

energy

Energy is that which is measured in joules.

equus

Everything about horses.

faith

Everything about every faith tradition and every faith system. Including nominally non-religious phenomenon such as magical thinking and mysticism in general. Includes televised worship services. Includes news about faith practices or faith concepts. Includes every spoken sentence that references one or more Deity.

fash

All things fashion. Includes apparel and cosmetics. Content pertaining to cosmetic medicine cross-posted here from med.

fiction

Scripted narrative content. Since the starting base is televised content, most will be either comedy or drama. Includes both TV series and (fictitious) movies that make the TV airwaves. Since very little advertising fits this characterization, viewers of the fiction channel will see mostly ads for pulp novels (those by James Patterson being most likely to be advertised in the television medium), and perhaps commercials that have an especially strong “storyboard” character.

finance

The financial sector is understood to include banking, brokerage (investment), accounting and insurance. News and advertising concerning this sector. Content in biz is cross-posted here if it is specifically about financial aspects of a non-financial business, such as its debt or equity financing, or its share price.

fire

Content about building fires, wildfires, fire department happenings, fire science. Ads for fire prevention equipment and alarms, but also ads for matches, lighters, fireworks and the like. Stuff in cibus about cooking with fire is cross-posted here.

fitness

All things fitness, that aren’t necessarily connected with a specific competitive sport.

flog

All things golf, including miniature golf, and the sport called “long drive.”

futbol

All things soccer.

gamer

Content pertaining to video games, but also board games. Also content pertaining to super heroes, comics, manga/anime/cosplay etc.

gaming

All things gambling. Also, promotion sweepstakes and the like.

gridiron

All things football.

grq

Get rich quick scams. Most content will be cross-posted from infomercial. Also includes news coverage of bunco squad type happenings (also posted to crime, of course).

gurd

Anything about substances known to be mind-altering, in any degree. Includes all uppers, downers and psychedelics. Includes psychiatric medications, and all therapeutic medications known to have psychoactive properties, including anti-seizure meds (benzodiazepines), fast-acting antihistamines (mild downers), real painkillers (opioids) most if not all decongestants (not-so-mild uppers), bronchodialators (basically adrenaline), etc. Includes alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, theophylline (found in tea), theobromine (found in cocoa) and refined sugar. Content relating to coffee, tea, cocoa, alcoholic beverage and dessert foods (and heavily-sugared snacks) is included in this channel and is also cross-posted to cibus.

histo

All things history, from American Experience to Antiques Roadshow.

hokey

All things hockey, including field hockey.

home

Home improvement project programming, honeydew programming, ads for home cleaning products. Home decor ideas and ads. News of fires and crimes and other events in residential settings.

hood

Hood as in livelihood. All things pertaining to employment and self-employment.

hoops

All things basketball.

info

Information about information. This includes computers, software, the Internet and the telecom industry. It also includes informational resources such as libraries. Also includes journalistic coverage of journalistic activities.

infomercial

All long-format ads, but also short-format ads for the types of value propositions that frequent that space; too-good-to-be-true propositions, get rich quick scams (cross-posted to grq), cooking gadgets, fitness gimmicks. Any sales pitch aimed at the audience’s sense of inadequacy.

katastrof

All about disasters, from fires (cross-posted to fire), famines (cross-posted to ag and food), extreme weather events (wx), earthquakes, etc. Reports of fatalities due to disasters are cross-posted to obit

kid

Content about children or childhood. Ads targeting kids are posted to parent channel instead.

lex

Anything about courts, attorneys, law enforcement, law as academic discipline, and legal structures such as contracts.

libris

Anything about books, and reading material in general. Stuff about books that are fiction cross-posted to fiction

med

All things health care, including alternative medicine (much of which will be cross-posted to infomercial). The stock “is food X good/bad for you” news story is cross posted between this channel and cibus.

obit

Any news or other item containing plausibly the first mention of the death of one or more human beings, who might or might not be named. Content from katastrof cross-posted here if there are fatalities. Not a channel for discussion of the subject of death in general; only specific deaths.

paranoia

Use of security concerns as a pretext for distrust directed at the public, both in government and in the private sector.

parent

Everything about parents and parenting.

philanthropy

Fundraising appeals, news about nonprofit organizations, or about people doing volunteer work.

politics

Anything about holders of or candidates for elected office. Anything about political power anywhere.

pr

Public relations. The lion’s share of commercials run on Sunday current events shows will go here. Also, news stories about the public relations industry.

psych

All things psychology.

racquetsport

Tennis, racquetball, ping pong, badminton. Lacrosse? Maybe handball?

realestate

Real estate. Also include business news involving transfer or development of real property.

retail

News about the retail sector (including e-commerce, which is cross-posted to info) and advertising for the same.

sk8

Anything about skating or skateboarding. Things about ice skating cross-posted to wintersport.

soap

Anything about cleaning products. Home cleaning products cross-posted to home, personal products generally to fash, sometimes med. Also, the handful of daytime serials still on the air.

space

Anything about space exploration. Stuff about astronomy, too.

spook

Anything about the intelligence community, or about official secrecy.

terrorism

Any news story or discussion in which an actual or hypothetical event is described as terrorism. This includes ordinary street crime cases in which judges, prosecutors, victims, reporters (or anyone) refers to people being “terrorized” by the crime.

tracksport

Athletics. Charity track events cross-posted to philanthropy

transit

All things mass transit and car-free commuting.

trash

Trash talk. Sports trash talk, of course, cross-posted to channel(s) for specific sport. Fash trash (such as in day-after coverage of awards shows) cross-posted here and to fash. Includes all advertisements for anything that mention the competing brand by name.

vojagx

All things travel.

war

All things military.

weight

Everything about weight gain or loss, or about being overweight or underweight.

wintersport

All things winter sports, except hockey, which has its own channel.

wmd

Anything about nuclear, biological or chemical weapons.

womensport

All women’s sports, which are always also cross-posted to the channel for the particular sport.

wx

Weather forecasts and all things meteorology. Also ads for weather-related products such as umbrellas.

zap

News about international peace talks, research and teaching at centers for peace and conflict studies, training efforts in de-escalation in local communities.

flags

geospatial coding

expiry time

queueing algorithm

custom channels and lineups