Open letter to When Mitt Had A Spell

Here’s a probably-somehow-illegal deep link which probably won’t work anyway.

Here’s the actual text (the inclusion of which here probably violates someone’s intellectual property rights, but I’m a literally worthless human being so what will they do, sue me? Ya can’t extract blood from a turnip, ya know. The names have been changed (albeit in an anagram sort of way) to protect the innocent.

APPEALS ASSISTANT

When Mitt Had A Spell has an immediate opening for an appeals and denial assistant.​ Individual would assist with the coordination of the member/​provider appeal process for all When Mitt Had A Spell Products.​ Candidate would gather data to identify discrepancies/​problems or issues and resolve them
amicably.​ All replies confidential.​ Please e-mail to

rakeless@​whenmitthadaspell.​com

A prize of some sort is deserved by whoever comes up with the most apropos (while still “fair”) re-statement of the J.O.B. description to be found among the comments.