To influence without persuading is what the best do, anyway. Then one has no feeling of being cognitively bullied into a new position — instead, one has thought it over and is now comfortable adopting a new position. It empowers one to make their own decision, or at least gives that perception.

It reminds me of the aphorism that you can’t give help; all you can do is offer it and it is either accepted or not. In a similar sense, by releasing ourselves from caring about a person’s acceptance or rejection of our argument, we probably become more persuasive overall, because we get rid of the self-interest that persuasion always seems to entail.